Mental Health (Mind and Body)
-Piu Chowdhury, Tasneem Mahmood Chowdhury, Zaara Zareen
“Mind over matter, or matter over mind, which one to choose and how to decide?” asked no“body”. Or, did they? It has been an issue whether body controls the mind or our mind controls the body since the beginning of time. A lot of debates, theories and research have been done on this ever existing perplexing thought. But could we get an answer that properly justifies the dichotomy of this issue and resolves the mystery with scrutiny? Scrutiny! Wait! Why does this word ring a bell in the subconscious part of the mind and why does the body immediately react to it? Yes! It’s a word which has become a part and parcel of a woman’s life, which constantly dictates how she should or should not be and describes each action of hers as if a woman is a dramatic film against which scrutiny plays the sad background music. So the question is how a body which is a physical entity is systematically separated from a woman’s mind by imposing limitations and sub-textual symbolism. So technically, theoretically and symbolically, a woman’s body is controlled by the gaze, the scrutiny, the assumptions, the image and the outlooks of other people. So what does that leave a woman with? No! No! You would think it leaves a woman empty because that is what people usually say. But let’s see the other side of the coin for a change and let’s see what it leaves her with. It leaves her with an identity, a face, an image, a color, a body and a mind that is not hers but of the society, of the media, of the culture and of the gender-biased hypocritical world that she lives in. So it is as if she lives in a body that is physically hers but is controlled by a mind which is constantly abused, manipulated and whitewashed by the outward gaze and the crude and vicious politics of body shaming.
A woman has to be to be a replica of a doll; a fragile, beautiful, fair and docile object that does not have any right on her own body. Stereotyping women by bodily images and pervasive symbols, limiting their boundaries by social prejudices and defining ideal women by feet, kilograms, skin tone and clothes are nothing but different modes of chauvinism disguised in norms and morality. In each and every place, starting from private space to public space, women are given a scale or a yardstick to measure their capabilities. In most cases these yardsticks often forget the differences between gender and sex and thus even in this 21st century women are mentally sickened to go through all the sexist comments and (un)usual gaze, where they are treated as if they are trapped and not born in a body, where their body becomes some empty cocoons, leaving them in an ironic state of floating identity. If a measuring machine could ever be attached to a woman’s mind, then it would be possible to see to what extent these pervasive scars of body images are perpetually imprinted on her mind as well. A woman is, perhaps, more a female than a human being when it comes to her body. Media here plays a powerful role in the way people perceive her body. Media manipulates minds to have a particular body image. This is quite disturbing in a way. It limits people from being able to love themselves with all their imperfections. Magazines, billboards and social media set body standards of skinny, tall framed women with no signs of cellulite or stretch marks and buffed up broad-shouldered men with sculpted abs. This, in turn, results in a wide range of people feeling highly insecure about the way they look just because they do not meet impossible body standards. Some live on with this sadness engulfing them every passing day.
Whenever a woman’s action is talked about, it is talked about in terms of her gender. As if the mind of a woman has to be governed, restricted, trained and directed not according to her desire or need but by the fact that she is a body; that she is not a man. So by saying “Don’t sit like a boy”, “Don’t laugh so loudly”, “Don’t eat so much you’ll get fat”, “Put some makeup on, you have got dark skin”, “Why are you so skinny?” are just ways of saying “Shhh…don’t think girl. Just be a body. Be a pretty doll with a key attached to your body.”
“Independence”! It has a sweet melody of empowerment and freedom in it.But this melody is maligned when it comes to a woman, and her ‘self’ becomes the ‘other’ where her body no longer remains a physical body but becomes a mere performer where the melody sings in a cacophonic tone, “Your independence lies in ‘in dependence’”.What better way to find out if a body affects the mind or the mind affects the body or both affect each other than entering into the mind of a woman and living in her body which goes through this vicious dilemma every single day? Metal health, it is not only about mind but it immensely depends on the body too!
Only women? Not anymore. It never was actually. Was it not the masculine body which had been dominating or least, influencing the mind for ages, that made men think they are more powerful and have to act like strong tough stones without emotions, be radical in anything and everything, that they are the ultimate support of family, society, and that they are the only living beings to take the responsibilities of the entire world (!) on those muscular shoulders? Perhaps, it is so or perhaps, not! But if seen the other side of the coin, Men are victims of their “masculinity” too. Some get hooked to steroids having the unnatural buffed up frame in mind. This has also led to the booming business of plastic surgeons that merely exist because of these physical insecurities.
Take a male classical or ballet dancer for instance. I bet you would gaze him on stage more profoundly than that of a woman! Sad but true, but for many of us, the fact of “the BOY danced well” will be imprinted more vividly, than that of “dancing well” fact! Who to blame? Society? Gaze, or hormones? If a woman grooms herself with makeup and accessories-we have a problem, either too much or not enough. If a man even thinks about anything of such, well, you know how it goes! After all, there’s a reason why we look at men’s parlors or grooming salons a bit differently! It’s a battle of testosterone and estrogen, after all!
Even in this era, we have difficulties in accepting transgender or anyone of LGBTQ group. We have been dealing their existence as “taboo” for ages. Humanity is long lost just because someone else is not in “our league.” No matter how much we shout for human rights, we end up giving a second look seeing a transgender, let alone hearing about someone’s sexual preference about being lesbian or gay, or a bisexual, as if it’s a fault or a disease.
Ever thought of how these gazes might have a disastrous effect upon them? Known to us all that our simple gaze hinders others’ sleep and can cause several mental diseases as well, some of which, as in “depression” or “anxiety” may sound more like a trend. But they are a real existence and it cannot be denied that severe cases like anaeroxia or body dysmorphia also exist, two very common and serious medical illnesses that result from our self-inflicted starvation and the vain pursuit of the “perfect” figure. The inherent depression that causes it can lead to loss of interest in activities which were once enjoyed. Simple activities like taking a shower, eating meals regularly or even getting out of bed can end up being torturous. It can even lead to self-harm which can take the worst turn and lead to suicide.
So what does our gaze mean, then? Our all-knowing Google will bless us with lots of answers! However, what I found most remarkable was the theory of the “Mirror” Stage popularized by the eminent French psychoanalyst, Jacques Lacan. This concept deals with more complicated terms like the first formation of relationships of the Ego and the Body, the Real and the imaginary. In simple terms, it is a stage when a child first sees his/her own self in the mirror. It implies how we never see ourselves; it’s always a reflection of what we see in the mirror, or in someone else’s eyes. For the child in his/her mirror phase, while he/she discovers the complicated reflection in the mirror, s/he is also introduced to the “how-you-should-look-like” phenomenon by the mother or the immediate guardian, which, in turn, functions as a redirected voice from her father, patriarchal voice or any other guardian figure, representing the society! Confusing? So, what happens is that whenever you look at yourself, you just do not see your left-right side reversed image, but unknowingly also encounter how the society sees or wants to see you! I bet you will be spending some extra few minutes as you see a mirror after reading this! And it turns out that the “Mirror Mirror on the Wall” says a lot of things for all of us!
Still, why bother if our normal gaze hurts someone to the level of suicidal thoughts. Why bother if issues like body shaming and mental diseases are rising as an aftermath? Why bother that games like “Blue-Whale” are emerging in the name of “cleansing biological waste,” where someone needs to hurt his/her body as a pathetic means to prove their mental agility, passing different levels of self-infliction to the extreme extent of suicide? Food for thought, anyone?
We wish this world could actually be independent. Wish we could be independent of our own thoughts/minds, just as our freedom fighters had the sheer drive of the mind to have sacrificed their body and soul for the independence of our nation. Wish we actually had the liberal minds not to see and judge people by their bodily details but see the real humans they are inside in all their perfect imperfections. The question that follows is, when does it start?