Radia -Al- Rashid

“Phew! Not feeling like going to the college at all but Gosh! The presentation and bloody assignment will take me to the freaking place anyway.”

Rebecca left the bed with deeply furrowed eyebrows. After dressing up she went downstairs tapping the screen of her “inseparable” phone. Her eyes got stuck on the name “Fred” as usual. He was online but she could not text him just like any other day. They were pretty close in the earlier part of the semester. Something weird happened recently which let their connection weaken all of a sudden. They even went out together on Valentine’s Day with the name of spending some “quality time” instead of calling it a date. Though Fred was junior to her, considering their batches in the college she got a huge crush on him. It all started with that one wedding ceremony where they happened to meet each other for the first time. Fred also seemed to admire and idolize her so much that his crush got strengthened over time which was apparently not being so helpful for Rebecca. Aside from his admiration and shower of compliments reserved for her, she still didn’t know how he felt about her. Again, to worsen the situation, he seemed to kind of distance himself from her lately which was definitely bothering Rebecca as hell yet she was trying to play it cool.

“God! What the heck am I actually doing with this crush on him? Am I some kind of Pedophile? Nah! He is not younger than me in terms of age! So, it cannot be called Pedophilia. Still what am I gonna do if I find out about his being in relationship with some other girl? Is it because of that he’s distancing himself now? Cool! It’s his life and I clearly do not have any right to intrude into his choices. But…I’ll get hurt! O my God! It’s so messed up…” with a shitload of questions in her head,

Rebecca started for college.

“Hey, Reb! You free? Can I talk to you for a sec?” Samantha came to her.

“Yeah! Sure. Lemme put down the bag first… Well, what’s up, Sam? Anything important?”

“Um! I don’t know but I think it’s kinda important for you to know.”

“Owkay! Stop the BS and dive right into the actual thing. Why the hell are you being formal with me for God’s sake?” Rebecca chuckled.

“Silly, please! I’m not being formal, it’s just, you’ll get shocked hearing this. Fine! The thing is, Robby has a huge crush on you and the other day he was talking about asking you out for a date sometime.” Samantha told the whole thing in a single breath and gasped.

“Oh! Come on! Quit talking trash you dummy! It’s not even possible and…”

“I’m serious as hell, Reb! Remember the carnival? Robby was being jealous seeing you and Fred talking and laughing together? Please, don’t you say you forgot that too! I’m not telling you to date Robby cause I know very well how rare you find guys attractive and that dumb, Fred is one of them. Yet I’ll suggest you to play it normal and be good friends with Robby.”

“Shoot! It’s kinda’ weirding me out. I mean, Robby? Seriously? Of course, I’m not gonna date him. He is super smart, genius and whatnot but he’s totally out of my league. Um! About that, I don’t see any reason for calling Fred “dummy” though.” Rebecca rolled her eyes.

“Of course, you don’t. Girrl! You are in LOVE with that weirdo. That’s what is making me jealous but in a good way. Totally not lesbian!” Samantha chuckled and winked at Rebecca. 

Rebecca also chuckled and was about to say something but got interrupted as the professor entered the class.

“Why? Why it had to be Robby to get a crush on me? It could be Fred, right? Ugh! I wish he was into me, maybe even a little bit!” Rebecca got indulged in her imagination.

After the class, Rebecca along with her friends went to the cafeteria. There, the radiant colored banners caught her attention. Nearing there, she found it out to be some sort of preparation taken by one of the clubs to celebrate the LGBTQ and all types of sexualities. She got quite interested and saw Fred working there. Every kind of “What if’s” and anxiety attack started to strangle her. Summoning the bravery and courage, she headed towards him.

“Hey, Fred! What is going on here?”

“Hello, Reb! What’s up? We are gonna celebrate the diverse sexualities from our club. Isn’t it amazing?”

Every time he called her “Reb”, she got immensely nervous and euphoric at the same time. It might not mean something special yet still she found it really cute.

“You kidding me? It’s fantabulous! I’m really glad to see everyone being more and more tolerant towards the people having different sexual orientations. It’s undoubtedly praiseworthy.”

“I know right? We are feeling much more included and normal than before through it.” Fred grinned.
Rebecca got seriously shocked and puzzled. She could not understand even a single bit of whatever Fred just said.

“Um! I’m sorry” she laughed nervously. “I couldn’t understand it, I mean you just said “we” as in?”

“Yeah! We, I meant we the homosexual people are getting more involved with you people, the stereotypical heterosexual ones.” He winked.

“Wait, wait, wait! Nooooooooo! Did he just say that he’s a gay? Did he? Or I misheard the entire thing? Ah…nah! I must’ve misheard it. He does not at all look like the typical, girlish gay people! Gosh! Didn’t see that coming. Well! Why not ask him directly then? Rebecca! Steel yourself for the worst hit of reality… steel yourself.”

Rebecca swallowed the lump in her throat. Taking a deep breath, she asked Fred,

“Woah! So, you are gay ha? I didn’t know that…” “Please, start laughing and say that it’s just another weird joke of yours. Please, Fred please!” She waited for him to answer with a flickering light of hope in her heart.

“Yeah! I figured it much earlier yet because of all the hatred and intolerance, couldn’t get the chance to actually embrace the fact. You know what, Reb? I even tried to date girls several times but failed to deny my actual identity…”

“Oh, right! So, this must be the actual reason behind your being single despite being sacrilegiously handsome. I’m sorry, it’s just, you are really very handsome and good looking and funny…” Rebecca forcefully stopped herself. She felt how her heart was breaking into pieces and how she was struggling so hard to halt the tears from streaming down her face.

“Aw! Thanks. That’s just too sweet of you. You are honestly the most beautiful and talented lady I’ve ever come across with. I would definitely date you if I was straight maybe!” Fred tapped her right arm with a playful smirk.

In reply, she grinned but felt like crying her eyes out. After standing there like a mannequin for a while, she tried to lessen the awkwardness of the situation.

“So, is there any lucky guy this handsome creature has an eye on?”

“Nah! Not really, Man! This be a little weird but um, I kinda have a crush on a guy who is no doubt a straight dude.”

“Woah! Say it out Freddie, who’s this? Who’s he? Do I know him?” Rebecca sounded excited and disheartened at the same time.

“Gosh! This is weird, okay! Yeah, you should know him. You know, the smartass from your batch, Robby.” Fred glanced at Rebecca.

“Holy moly! Is it a joke? Am I a joke to you, God? What!!! Why, why why??? I wanna know why! No! It’s getting more and more twisted. My entire life has been nothing but a freaking lie…”

“Woah! That’s intense.” She smiled, “Well, keep working Buddy! I gotta go, need to do some stuff. Um! Just for your information, I think I must say this, Robby is a straight guy and um, we two are dating. Ouch! Hope it won’t hurt you much. See ya!” she went out of the cafeteria while Fred saw her leave, forgetting to blink.