Sheikh Tasmima Mrenmoi
When your own fate is poking you hard and knocking your head questioning your patience, survival has always been tough. Raisa, a 17-year-old struggling with her inner self after she faced so many trials in life-most of them from her closest ones. At one point she was the happiest person and on the other hand, she wanted to isolate herself from everyone.
Raisa crept along trembling with cold and hunger, oh such a saddening view, poor little thing. She probably had shoes worn, but she is however barefoot now. The poor little thing lost them as she scuffled away across the street. It has been a long exhausting day. Raisa sold fancy cards on the streets, but couldn’t sell any cards today. She sat down on one corner of the road, it was Christmas Eve, the entire town was decorated with lights from all the windows, the candles were gleaming, she loved the view, girls of her age hovered around the streets holding shopping bags and smiles on their faces.
The piercing cold wind blew, it gave her chills. She was wearing a torn, oversized sweater and a cotton pajama. Her legs trembled as the harsh wind touched her skin. Her unwashed curls frittered from her face, such a sweet face she had, her skin pale white and hair light brown. Her cheeks flushed due to chilly weather. Her lips were dry, but she couldn’t afford a moisturizer. Her eyes held agony in them, it carried so many unsaid stories and so many broken memories. She looked up above the skies and smiled to herself, a sullen smile and painful eyes. So effortlessly beautiful she was. How did Raisa’s life turn around like this? She had no answer to this question.
Raisa had a beautiful family, with her mother, father and grandmother. She was most loved by her grandmother. But then one by one, they all left her.
It was not long, around 7 years from now when Raisa’s father left them, a year later Raisa’s mother remarried, Raisa’s step-father ousted Raisa and her grandmother, since then it has been she and her grandmother in a ghetto, near the Mohammadpur area. Being abandoned by both her parents, Raisa’s life had been drained of all colors and hopes. Her grandmother was all she had as a close one. However, life had its own way of impairing Raisa in the most brutal manner. She lost her grandmother two weeks ago and the pain crumbled her down. Life was soundly compassionless towards her.
Her fingers went numb, she had a box of matches along with her, whenever she kindled a match, she could see her grandmother sitting in front her, smiling through the fire. Today, due to the cold weather and her freezing hands she could not light up the matches, until she tried with the last piece left in her match box. The fire felt warm on her skin, her pale face turned pink and bright, she had a broken smile, so pure yet so excruciating. Her eyes teared up, when she saw her. She said, “Oh mama, why did you leave me? Please take me with you. The house feels barren without your presence, but I know you never left me, as the fire burns, you appear, you’re my light mama, and you will always remain alive in my heart. You will guide me won’t you mama? Why do you leave when the match burns out?” The corners of her old eyes wrinkled as she smiled back at her granddaughter.
Soon, the cold air blew off the fire, and Raisa was left all alone. But she was never alone. She would save up to buy a match box, as it would bring her mama back. Life was always bitter-sweet with Raisa, yet she lived, and survived her storms. During the cold hours as the evening spread above the sky she sat in the corner, frozen to death, on the last eve of the old year. Alone and isolated she stood, she no longer needed love and sympathy, her grandmother had once said, “When a star falls, a soul ascends to God.” She waited for another star to fall.