(Poem) ๐๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ž ๐ข๐ง ๐–๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ซ

The truth is

My life is a mess right now.

You see me,

Portraying success out loud.

The truth is 

It’s harder to pretend,

I’m Fine. 

The stress is 

Killing  me inside, slowly.

The truth is 

Pretending is much harder

This time,

When I look in the mirror 

I see a girl in decline 

No one can see me

Sometimes i wonder 

If i am there 

Or even I exist.

Can anybody hear me? 

I’m screaming louder every year 

Does anybody feel the same as me? 

Does anybody else wonder about death?

Has anyone ever felt my pain? 

I just wonder;

As I struggle through my life in vain.

Do I look to the future?  

Is there any point? 

Because I’ve got to get to the point!

Can I disappear? Wish I just could and not found anywhere 

I’ve been losing my mind, but still keep searching 

Knowing I’ll be just wasting time 

Is it me or the people around me all the time saying,

There is always another mountain to climb

But I am running out of time.

And i’ve forgotten what it feels like 

To wake up feeling like me,being assured itโ€™s gonna be fine.

But i keep searching, procrastinating 

Pretending I know what I am looking for,

But, really, I am trying to escape from my mind.

Everyone around me doesnโ€™t know 

How it is to be unable to smile.

Do they even know how to smile?

“Fake it till you make it”

I can’t bring myself to say “Hi, How is your life?” 

I can’t pretend I give a care

When I know their life is as careless as mine.

But they play their cards with conviction, 

They buy expensive from brands,they buy expensive lies, 

They take a comfort in knowing that a holiday will suffice, 

Saving all year round to escape from

The life they hate, 

Because they are stuck in the cogs of machine we called time 

Repeating the same thing experience, time after time

I digress,

As I look to compare your life and my life and the life of those who say they care but don’t.

What’s the point of lying ? When we are breathing the same air.

By Fatema Tuz Zannat