I am princess Shikhandi, the warrior of a great kingdom.
The savior of my nation. The pride of my people.
Enemies cower before my name.
Yet, at this moment, I am nothing.
I am no one,
As I stand here alone in this darkness, feeling so vulnerable and hopeless.
Me! The warrior princess Shikhandi, who never backed out in the face of a challenge, now feels so defeated.
Laughable, Right?
Indeed, it is laughable,
As I have frozen in front of the hardest challenge of my life.
A challenge that has been constructed for me to never overcome.
A challenge that has been given to me by this ruthless society.
A challenge that no one wants me to succeed in.
I stand here alone in my anguish, facing the discrimination of this society.
Throughout my whole life, I have trained, I have endured, and I have thrived in all those expectations that were put upon me.
I know my goal.
I know what is expected of me, and I know my heart.
I recognized the fire of vengeance inside my heart,
Which will only be extinguished with the death of the great Bhishma. My sinner. The man who wronged me again and again.
I still remember…
I still remember how Bhishma insulted me in my past life.
How his decisions were the cause of my suffering and miserable death.
My dignity was tarnished, and my life was destroyed.
To think a man’s decision altered the course of my life. A life from which I had so many hopes and dreams.
How easy it is for a man to change a woman’s fate. How easy it is for a man to make decisions based on their concept of what’s right.
They don’t think about the consequences of their actions.
They just act on their instinct,
And we, the women, suffer as an aftermath of their decision.
But no more.
I refuse to accept this fate.
I was reborn on this earth to punish Bhishma for his crime.
I will be the reason for his death.
I will be the symbol of hope.
No mere mortals will be able to stop me.
Even if the whole world tries, they can never shackle me.
For I live in the spirits of every woman who has been wronged by this patriarchal society.
You think you can stop me?
You think just because I am a woman you will forbid me from fighting this war?
Think again.
This body for which I have been discriminated against is just a shell that holds my spirit.
My gender is just a mere illusion.
My essence lives in my eternal soul, which will never leave me.
“Oh, dear God, hear my prayers.
I am ready to break the boundaries set by this society. I am ready to let go of this body. The physical identity that was given to me by this society no longer concerns me.
I am ready to let go of this restriction.
This society will not allow me to fight this war as a woman.
So, I pray to become a person who is neither a woman nor a man and fight this war against all the evil, injustice, and discrimination of society. I pray to you to boon me so that I can become a person who can embrace both my identities and fight for the truth.